I’m sitting on my couch on an incredibly lazy Saturday afternoon. It seems that I have dropped the ball more than I would have liked and have a good amount to say.
1. I am graduated. I can’t believe I’m done with college. There was snow on the ground that morning, I made sure to attend all of my best friends parties, and I spent quality time with my family. I walked across the stage, shook the Deans hand, and accepted the inevitability of age. It is a very surreal feeling to be done. You can’t really describe it until it happens, and then when it does, you’re like woah. There it went. I feel very vulnerable right now as this part of my life has ended.
2. I have received an internship at an agency in NYC so I am moving there in 2 weeks. This is my dream. Working at this agency is my dream. It feels so right in every single way. I can not wait to prove myself. I can not wait to give it my life. I can’t wait to start a new life. Crazy right? My life is about to completely turn on its head. The only way I know of to describe it is through the rascal flats song I’m movin’ on. Here are the lyrics and I will analyze as I go:
I’ve dealt with my ghosts and I’ve faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I’ve found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I’m at peace with myself
I’ve been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I’m movin’ on
(I feel like I know myself more than I ever have in my life. I am finally surrounded by people that adore me, that I adore who bring out the absolute best in me.)
I’ve lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they’re always the same
They mean me no harm but it’s time that I face it
They’ll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don’t belong
I’m movin’ on
(I have lived in Colorado for the majority of my life. I need to branch out, spread my wings, and change to whoever I want or need to be. I’ve found myself enough by now to know where I can be and that I can do it. I have my doubts, but I know now that home, at least for now, is where I don’t belong.)
I’m movin’ on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there’s no guarantees, but I’m not alone
There comes a time in everyone’s life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn’t
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I’ve loved like I should but lived like I shouldn’t
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
(These next few weeks are going to feel a lot like this. I know it. I’m terrified. But deep down I know I can do it. I have to do it. I have to find the boldness inside of me)
